Life After Politics, J.H.Johns

LIFE AFTER POLITICS
by J. H. Johns

Hi!
I’m Eliot Spitzer
and
I’m here to tell you about
Trojans-

(holds up a condom in foil)

you know,
after a hard day
of governing in Albany-
or even when I’m kicking back
in my Park Avenue apartment-

there comes a time
when I think about slipping into a
Trojan-

yes, Trojans-

and even though I don’t use them-
they are the safest thing
between yesterday and tomorrow-

hey,
take it from me-
Client Number Nine-
try Trojans-

they won’t keep the Feds from getting you
but,
they’re the best insurance you can buy-

this side of Wall Street-

so,
whether you’re just having fun
or dropping a thousand dollars an hour-

use
Trojans.