The Bones Once Protruded..., N.Kuwik

THE BONES ONCE PROTRUDED FROM MY HIPS,
MAKING IT DIFFICULT TO SLEEP ON MY SIDE
By Nicole Kuwik

My mind
pushes me up against a wall
holding a fist
to my face threatening to
pound
pound
pound

So I sneak into spiral notebooks
neatly listed with numbers
which once added to equal
fifteen, sixteen, seventeen...
when I was still
sinking somwhere
along the transfer from sand to swamp

I login to forums about triggers
and thinspiration and taste
raw carrot and stomach acid,
toilet water and white tile,
salty tears on grey stairs

My hands turn orange like
a flamingo eating
shrimp
shrimp
shrimp to make her pink
and my bones ache with the
deficiency
of it all