Stop Worrying So Much!
By Maranda Russell
"Tension is what you think you should be. Relaxation is what you are." Chinese Proverb.
This quote really spoke to me. I have spent so much time tense and anxious about all that I feel I should be that I'm not, and all the things I think I should be doing, but can't. If I could just learn to be me, and be content with that, I could truly be relaxed. At peace. Tranquil. And that sounds heavenly to me.
I am a naturally wound up and nervous person that is seldom at peace. I am constantly looking for a cause to fight, an injustice to fix, a nit to pick. If I feel sick I start imagining I have cancer. If someone is late, they died in a car wreck. I am the meaning of the word worrywart. My boss at work is always telling me to "calm down skippy!" But one of the things I worry the most about is how I feel I'm not good enough. I haven't achieved enough, I haven't made a big enough difference in the world, I haven't made my million so I can give it to the poor.
So I'm thinking I really need to learn to relax. Be happy with who I am and where I am at in life. Not feel so useless if the kitchen is dirty and the cats stink. Or if I stink for that matter. It's pretty hot here today so I probably do stink. But maybe that's ok. I can always go take a bath. Is it really worth feeling like a failure because I don't always smell like a delicate rose? Or beating myself up because I ate some oreos and my pants are a little tight? Maybe instead I should thank God I'm not starving to death and that I have clothes to wear at all. I can't help but think when I am at the end of my life, I will look back and regret wasting all this time worrying about things I can't change and striving for what is always out of reach.