I am a Loser, M.Russell

I am a Loser
By Maranda Russell

I am a loser
my life really sucks
I spend my life cleaning
turds off of ducks.
I have no friends
cause my underarms stink
I wish I was drunk
but I'm too poor to drink.
My cat, he hates me
my dog rolls his eyes
I'm under surveillance
by government spies.
I wish you would shoot me
but you'd go to jail
and I'd still be a loser
just sitting in Hell.